A Grief Observed [2].

I went to the Lakeview, Roselawn and Tiger Flowers cemetery complex for this fieldtrip, and I stayed there for at least 40 minutes.

This fieldtrip was more of an experience than I thought it'd be! Professor Corrigan is always right . . . =) It was kind of weird thinking about all the people in that grave yard who died so many years ago. Something that struck me was that a majority of these people probably have no remaining family members who actually knew them . . . yet their graves still stand. Something about them is left even though memories of them probably are not.
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After reading A Grief Observed, I know I am definitely going to keep this one. It fights through the process of grief. They are hopeful and insightful for not only those experiencing grief but also those who have yet to experience it. The book has given me an understanding of how to care for or better relate to someone going through the process. It also has many truths that can be taken out of the context of grief and applied to many areas of life.

"Does grief finally subside into boredom tinged by faint nausea?"
     Lewis is experiencing guilt in a different way now. It involves both the mental and the physical. I love that he asks the question, though, rather than being sure of it. He's still working through the process of grieving.

"What grounds has it given me for doubting all that I believe?"
     I love the thought process on pages 36 and 37. Lewis puts asides his feelings for a moment and logically thinks through trust and faith. He realizes this one grief is so poignant, so shaking, to him because it affected him personally. He sees death around him and he trusts. But when it hits him, he's shaken. It shouldn't happen, but it does. He distinguishes between imagination and trust, possibility and occurrence. He's progressing and going somewhere with his thoughts despite his hurt.

"Grief is like a bomber circling round and dropping its bombs each time the circle brings it overhead . . ."
     This image stood out to me because I can just imagine a war scene where huge blows keep coming, coming, coming. Out of nowhere. When you least expect them. Exploding to affect more than where they hit. The pangs that hit the heart and mind of a grieving person are like this.


"You can't see anything properly while your eyes are blurred with tears."
     It's as if after he wipes away his tears for long enough that his memories of H become beautiful stories. I find myself so happy for their previous life together, loving the love they had and the moments they lived. I forgot I was reading "a grief" for a few moments. The description he gives of her as his wife is beautiful. He almost experiences her memory in a more real way after he started to accept that her physical presence will be gone.    


"Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape."
     This is another moving picture of grief. I actually briefly searched "valley" online to get a better picture in my mind. There are many different types of valleys. These types provide general distinctions (death, poverty, war, attack, hopelessness . . .), but each valley is unique within its kind. Many valleys lie between mountains, obstructions on either side. There is often a stream of water running in the valley, providing forward motion and leading to open waters. Each stream moves at its own pace, unique to its placement and the conditions of the valley. The valley opens you up to new sights, sounds, and feelings. You don't know what's around the bend, but you're moving forward. There is a beginning, but there isn't an end in itself. It, grief, becomes less defined and less confined as it finds the opening at the end of is natural path.


"Thus up from the garden to the Gardener, from the sword to the Smith. To the life-giving Life and the Beauty that makes beautiful."
     This is one of the lessons that can relate to many different aspects of life. In context, Lewis was talking about thanking God for His wife, praising Him in order to cultivate joy in his life. We should practice this principle consistently, daily allowing ourselves to be reminded of the Gardener who creates nature, the Smith who uses us as Swords for His purpose, the loving Father to His children with whom He gives us to share relationship, love, and life.

"If you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you're not really approaching Him at all."
     Once again, this quote in context relates to moving on from grief. But this struck me and seems so important for my spiritual walk with God, good times or bad. He's not the path to our desired emotions. HE is our answer. Solely, singly, fully. In every area of life.